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The Fishwrap


Soon to be Vice President Joe Biden has warned, while Barack Obama is performing his victory dance in the red states, that the new president and Vice President will be “tested” shortly after they are sworn in to office. Will they meet the test?

You’betcha!

For the second time (perhaps the third time; who’s keeping count?) unindicted co-conspirator in the ABSCAM flapdoodle U.S. Rep. John Murtha is, according to Pittsburg WTAE.TV Channel 4, “calling many of the people who put him in office ‘rednecks.’ The news comes one week after Murtha claimed the area is racist, then apologized for that comment.”

Who does this gaffer think he is – Joe Biden?

According to the authoritative National Review Online, votive candles bearing the image of the sainted Obama have begun to appear at a street fair at Hayes and Octavia in San Francisco.

The Madonna divorce continues to wend its way through the press. Soon to be former Mr. Madonna Guy Ritchie thinks his soon to be former wife is spying on him.

The Sun reports, “He has even compared her approach to their split as being like ‘something concocted by the KGB,’ raging at her: ‘This is a divorce, not the Cold War.’”

Just you wait Ritchie. Hell hath no fury like a Madonna scorned.

And Connecticut’s everywhere-all-the-time Attorney General Richard Blumenthal has “suggested” to a legislative panel that the Department of Children and Youth Services should be “broken up.” Apparently DCYF has not yielded to every demand made by the attorney general over the years.

A story in the Hartford Courant suggests Blumenthal’s recommendation is a rhetorical ploy. If someone, somewhere doesn’t pay attention to him, he likes to break things up, stamp his feet, get his mug in the paper.

Child Advocate Jeanne Milstein, Tonto to Blumenthal’s Lone Ranger, has suggested a study. Wonderful! Another study; this is the way the legislature usually washes its hands of persistent problems.

But Milstein also said, “I, for the record, believe the agency should remain intact.” She thinks new administrators are necessary.

Most of the persistent problems at DCS can be traced back to dysfunctional “families.” Short of shot gun weddings, Blumenthal doesn’t know what to do, and his flopping around on the sea shore of departmental studies suggests that he just doesn’t care to propose a workable solution to the problem.

The breakup of the Madonna marriage suggests a partial solution that may possibly pass muster with the soon to be new occupants in the White House: Break up the Madonna fortune and redistribute it among those suffering at the hand of an unfeeling DCFY; move everybody into one of the Madonna mansions that now dot the English countryside. They soon will be vacant; Madonna, it is rumored, is moving back to New York, where she is now starring in her “Sticky and Sweet” tour.

And will someone please shove a sock in Blumenthal’s mouth, before he breaks something valuable.

Time out for you Blumie; no mug shots for a month.
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