Skip to main content

Signs of the Times


Customer at a grocery store: These prices are outrageous.

Service personnel: Well, yes – for us too. Our suppliers are charging us more, so we pass along some increased costs to people like you. But you should know that the percentage of cost increases in this store is less than the increased costs of the wholesale goods we purchase.

Customer: That means nothing to me. All I know is – my income is fixed. I’m paying through the nose, and I can’t afford it.

SP: Sorry about that.

___________________

 

Sticker on a gas pump in northern Connecticut: “I did that,” accompanied with a picture of President Joe Biden, cleverly concealed on the tank where the pump spout is inserted.



“‘I just know everything he’s been doing since he took office has been going downhill. Bring Trump back,’ said Harold Frost, 29, of the Upper West Side (New York City). ‘My car has been parked the whole week because of this [high gas prices]. I took the train, but it’s dangerous now on the train. You gotta be careful.’"

 ______________________

 

Frequent Customer: How are you?

Waitress at a diner near Hartford: I’m tired. You can’t believe how tired I am.

FC: Why?

Waitress: I’m all alone here, no help.

FC: I know what that’s like. How’s your garden doing?

Waitress: It’s less tired than I am.

FC: You must be harvesting now (beginning of August). What are you pulling out of there?

Waitress: My husband tends it. We’re Greek – so, herbs, lots of tomatoes, cucumbers… eggplant! We love eggplant! You can make it so many different ways. (She mentions a half dozen uses. Her customer seems impressed). More coffee?

FC: Sure.

Waitress: It’s my feet, mostly.

Fc: Sorry?

Waitress: They hurt.

_________________

 

The risible New York Post


______________

 

Phone-rage

Robo-caller: What’s that?

Miffed Recipient of Call: Will she or won’t she? Just answer the question (Will Speaker of the US House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi touch down in Taiwan during her Far East trip?)

RC: I can’t say.

MROC: Can’t or won’t?

RC: We never mention political subjects during our calls. It’s just not done.

MROC: Why not?

RC: Because it interferes with our mission.

MROC: Well your call is interfering with my mission, which is to free myself of phone pests.

Click.

_____________

Henry Menken, contrarian, unread by 90% of Connecticut political commentators:


_________________

Priest: I’m pretty sure that’s not a sin (failing to vote in state and national elections).

Repentant sinner: Maybe it should be.

Priest: I doubt God votes. Jesus was pretty indifferent towards politics: “Give to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God what properly belongs to God.” Now Barabbas – there’s your political rabble rouser.

RS: Yeah, but there’s an overlap. Christ was scourged by the Romans, remember? You don’t pay taxes, Father. The rest of us do, our annual scourging.

_____________________

 

Political pragmatist: “It’s never a good idea to burn down the house to rid it of a mouse.”

______________________

 

Teacher: What do you make of these lines from Robert Burns?

The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men

Gang aft agley,

An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,

For promis’d joy!

Student:  Before his fight with Evander Holyfield, Mike Tyson was asked whether he was worried about Holyfield’s plan.

Everybody has a plan

until they get punched

in the mouth!

_________________________

 

A divorcé: My first husband was like that. Flowers fell from his tongue when he spoke. He was a minor politician, nothing important, certainly nothing remunerative. It was always hand to mouth with us. Now, I’m happily married to an energy consultant, a graduate of one of Connecticut’s most prestigious technical schools, if I can put it that way. He travels all over – young, handsome, energetic, if you know what I mean. The checks keep rolling in. I told my former boss to get lost, a real pick-me-up. Neither of us fears the coming recession that’s spooked everyone. I sleep late.

________________________

 

A Republican Party consultant: They’re on the point of panic, worried about Trump, all the bullets just bounce off him. They keep looking under their beds for Kryptonite. I don’t know -- if anyone can get this guy elected, it’s the “Big Guy,” (Hunter Biden’s affectionate term for his Dad and co-conspirator). All this stuff is in the air now, very catchy, like COVID.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Casey Chadwick’s Uneasy Life after Death

Casey and her mother Wendy "I just started grief counseling. I'm always sad. I'm sad and in pain and I miss her." Wendy Hartling   Hartling is the mother of Casey Chadwick, murdered in 2015 by Jean Jacques , an illegal Haitian immigrant. Jacques was convicted of the murder of Chadwick in a New London Superior Court jury trial and sentenced by Judge Barbara Bailey Jongbloed to a 60 year term in prison. Since Jacques is 44 years of age, the sentence was, in effect, a life sentence. Connecticut Commentary coverage of the Chadwick murder may be found here , and here   and here . Jacques could not have been sentenced to death because Connecticut’s Democrat dominated General Assembly, under pressure from the state Supreme Court, had abolished Connecticut’s death penalty law in 2012 . The slaughter of Chadwick was particularly brutal. Her body had been found by a friend who, opening a door to a closet, discovered Chadwick stuffed in a dark corner drenched in blo...
Post a Comment
Read more

Understanding North Korea Through Dramaturgy

The U.S. military is sending the Vinson Strike Group, including the carrier and two guided-missile destroyers, to operate in the Western Pacific Ocean in response to Pyongyang’s recent missile tests. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, asked about the strike force, issued a terse statement: “The United States has spoken enough about North Korea. We have no further comment.” Is this a post-Syrian bombing mission? Will the US take out North Korea’s missile launching sites, possibly with the unspoken concurrence of China? Never let a bombing go to waste. There are some in the United States who think any such incident should be used to rid North Korea of that runty little totalitarian cock-of-the-walk who keeps his countrymen starved, in fear and at his knees. Since we only have one chance, they say, go for the clean sweep -- no more Kims. Connecticut Commentary is reprinting an earlier piece about the Kims here. Best read with a glass of port.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Blumenthal Burisma Connection

Steve Hilton , a Fox News commentator who over the weekend had connected some Burisma corruption dots, had this to say about Connecticut U.S. Senator Dick Blumenthal’s association with the tangled knot of corruption in Ukraine: “We cross-referenced the Senate co-sponsors of Ed Markey's Ukraine gas bill with the list of Democrats whom Burisma lobbyist, David Leiter, routinely gave money to and found another one -- one of the most sanctimonious of them all, actually -- Sen. Richard Blumenthal."
17 comments
Read more