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The Reformers Club, A Satire

Overheard in the MidRoad Diner during a meeting of the Reformers Club

The difference between God and Governor Malloy --“God is less concerned than [Dannel] Malloy when people question Him.”

Those early body-building pics of Republican House leader Themis Klarides circulating in the desk drawers of oppo-researchers -- “I’m still waiting for one of Connecticut’s opinionators to write, maybe in a column, that Klarides can easily bench-press many of her political opponents. She likes sports, contact sports too. Otherwise, why would she have gotten involved in politics?”


Malloy and Joe Aresimowicz [Speaker of the Democratic Party hegemon in the State House] – “… worms in the apple of reform.”

Connecticut’s millionaires

A: “It may be the first time in a decade that there are no millionaires running for high office in Connecticut. Couple of felons in Bridgeport though, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

B: “Some of the millionaires have left and moved back to New York. Can you believe it? Andrew Cuomo’s New York, Bill de Blasio’s New York. By the way, what’s with the Frenchification of the Italian name?

A: “He took his mother’s maiden name in 2002. His father, Warren Wilhelm, had a problem with alcoholism and left the family when Bill was seven. So he waited, let’s see, 31 years to change his name. Better late than never I guess. There are plenty of Italians in New York, and if you’re running for office… But, interesting you should mention millionaires. Two of the seven members of Connecticut’s U.S. Congressional Delegation are millionaires many times over. [Dick] Blumenthal made his millions the old fashion way – through marriage. (Rosa) DeLauro too. No Frenchification there; she caps the 'D'."

St. Murphy -- “Don’t know what it is – his face or his policies, but [U.S. Senator Chris] Murphy just looks like the spoiled brat who stole the keys to his father’s Alfa Romeo and crashed it into a tree. Millennial progressive face swollen with righteous indignation,  right?

The media in Connecticut -- “… no George Orwells in attendance.”


Republican optimism – “This is not the end of the road for Connecticut. It is only the beginning of the end of the road.”

Unions, Connecticut’s fourth branch of government – “The day of reckoning has been postponed until 2027, thanks to the Malloy-SEBAC union negotiations. And thanks to Connecticut’s highly politicized Supreme Court, it may be postponed until well after the state has expired, or moved to New York.”

The Democratic Party Gubernatorial Rain Date – “Malloy lame-ducked himself for the best of reasons. The state is a wreck, and the wrecking crew has decided not to defend at the polls its accomplishments. I’m still on speaking terms with Opinion Central in Connecticut, and no one believes that [Lieutenant Governor Nancy] Wyman declined to run for Governor because she wishes to reacquaint herself with her grandchildren. She just wasn’t willing to stand by her man, who announced he had planned to scurry out before her months ago. Why should Nancy be left holding the empty bag?”

Comptroller Kevin Lembo – “… has no grandchildren, but he’s proven his political metal by rushing out the back door of the burning house. He’s young enough to run a 'pick-up-the-pieces-campaign' at some future date after the rubble has settled. By that time, people will have forgotten who the arsonists were.”

On Mayor of Bridgeport Joe Ganim’s Run for Governor – “… better the crook you know.”


Social progressivism and the Republican Party – “… Among the Avant Guard of the left, social progressivism is variant of libertinism – not ordered liberty, not liberalism, not libertarianism – but libertinism, the Marquis de Sade’s secular faith.  Republicans shy away from this sort of thing. They don’t want to end up sounding like Cotton Mather. On social matters, most especially the unrelenting war on urban boys, Republicans have no strong convictions; courage is lacking. They know in their hearts that the absence of fathers in urban 'families' is the rot that lies at the root of urban pathologies. But what has social deterioration to do with economics?"

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