Thursday, June 17, 2010

Gore Lore

The much respected New York Daily news, relying on a story in Star Magazine, reports that “Al Gore's surprising split from wife Tipper was prompted by an affair he was having with Larry David's environmental activist wife…

“David divorced her husband, the "Seinfeld" creator and star of "Curb Your Enthusiasm," in 2007 amid reports that she was cheating with the married caretaker of their Martha's Vineyard summer home…”

Speaking through a spokesperson, Gore refuses to comment on the “stream of stories about his separation,” which has opened the door to some wild speculation.

Al’s take is that his marriage went flat after four decades.

The split with Tipper is amiable and mutually beneficial: Apart from each other, the two can grow; and no one should have to tolerate a flat marriage any more than one should tolerate flat champagne.

Unsatisfied with this account, the Globe, a British organ, speculated that Gore has a gay monkey on his back, but you have to buy the nose rag to get the complete story. There is, however, a teaser:

“Former Vice President Al Gore is caught up in a sensational gay scandal after announcing he is divorcing Tipper, his wife of 40 years. In a must-read world exclusive, GLOBE rips the lid off all the eye-popping details that have Washington, D.C., insiders buzzing. Don't miss a single word.”
National Inquirer magazine, surprisingly accurate in the case of other political scandals, says – naugh!!!.

Actually, the problem is that Tipper has gone mad, possibly from reading accounts of Al’s sexual preferences in the Globe. Tipper is insanely jealous, says NI, and Al ain’t gonna take it any more.

What to make of all this?

Some provisional theories:

1) Ever since the Marilyn Monroe thing with John F. Kennedy more or less forced the news media to abandon ancient strictures that prevented the tribunes of the people from dilating on the eroto-political scene, it’s been a wild ride. And scandal sells. Hollywood is everywhere, most especially in the congress and the White House.

2) The breakdown of mores – the secular equivalent of morals – has let the erotic dogs out. Is it possible that the elimination of religious proscriptions, one of the consequences of the desacralization of Western culture, has had something to do with the near total breakdown of what G. K. Chesterton used to call the little battalions of democracy: church, home and neighborhood?

Ya think? If you do think, you are likely to be reviled with a velvet glove by the media folk who produce the Globe, the Daily News and even more respected organs of public propaganda such as the Hartford Courant.

3) In a neo-pagan universe, it should not be surprising that the inmates begin to behave like pagans. The problem is us, as Pogo says. Go to confession more often; repair the spiritual holes in your private universe with something other than neo-paganism. Repent, as Jeremiah says.

4) We are not neo-pagan enough. We have not fully embraced Wicca, Sadism, Earth Worship, Yoga, the Hollywood busting out in all our souls.

Somewhere up there between 1, 2, 3, and 4, lies the solution to our long winter of discontent.

Sometimes it helps to remember that it was not always like this.
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