Saturday, June 11, 2016

Bill, Hill And Dolly, A June Ramble

Hillary, The Other Woman: A Political Memoir By Dolly Kyle” is in part a Southern bodice ripper, so keep it from the kids.

Ms. Kyle (well preserved and pictured to the left) very well may be Bill Clinton’s “first love.” According to a cliff-notes review of Ms. Kyle’s new book written for the Daily Mail by Caroline Howe, the two lovers got it on in high school and kept it on before, during and after Mr. Clinton’s marriage (sort of) to Hillary Clinton, who snatched his heart while the two were students at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut.

Yale, for Brits who may be unfamiliar with the august institution, is the third oldest institution of higher learning in the United States. It was founded in 1701 in Saybrook Colony, when the US was still attached by colonial bonds of affection to the British Empire, and was renamed Yale in 1718 after the college was blessed with a  bequest from Elihu Yale, Governor of the British East India Company. Yale was established to train Congregational ministers in theology and sacred languages. It now produces ivy covered spoiled children, two of whom were Bill and Hillary Clinton.

Their pedagogical progeny are legion: this year some Yale students are agitating for the removal of "white males" such as Shakespeare from a Yale course on "Major English Poets." 

It doesn’t take Ms. Kyle long to get to the nub of the matter; and, along the way, she paints a picture of the almost certain Democratic Party nominee for President that is highly unflattering.

There is no paper in the United States that can beat the Daily Mail in Britain for its frank reportage. The bullet-pointed summary of the chief points made by Ms. Kyle in her soon to be bestselling memoir is a prime example of the new, new journalism. Here they are in all their fleshy glory:

EXCLUSIVE: Bill Clinton’s lover - before and AFTER his marriage - tells how 'lumpy' Hillary with her 'fat ankles and hair on her toes' schemed to get her to LIE on 60 Minutes about Bill's other affairs
                       There appears to be no limit to what Hillary will do to destroy her perceived enemies,' Dolly Kyle writes in her new bombshell book
 ·         Kyle began sleeping with Bill Clinton after high school and their affair didn't end until he moved to the White House
 ·         'Billy was a sex addict; I was a codependent,' she admits in memoir that rips the lid off the power couple
 ·         Bill was undone by Wilt Chamberlain's claim to have slept with 20,000 women - That's ten times more than I've had!' he told Dolly
 ·         Dolly says Bill told her he and Hillary - who he called 'The Warden' -needed to have a baby 'so we can appear to be a normal couple'
 ·         'We need to do something serious to take attention off the Warden's lifestyle,' Bill said and Dolly suggested he sleep with Hillary
 ·         When Dolly met Hillary - May 28, 1974 -  she wore a 'misshapen, brown, dress-like thing that must have been intended to hide her lumpy body'
 ·         The garment 'stopped too soon to hide her fat ankles and her thick calves covered with black hair'
 ·         Thick brown sandals did nothing to conceal her wide feet and the hair on her toes,' Dolly said, adding that she was embarrassed and staring

Will women in the United States likely vote for a president who has fat ankles and hairy toes, who is inattentive to her marriage, warden-like and stiff as a plastic corn cob? One gets the impression that Ms. Kyle does not plan to vote for her. Has the publisher of Ms. Kyle’s memoir slipped a copy to prospective Republican Party nominee Donald Trump? Will he take notes or, at the very least, read and digest Ms. Howe’s unredacted review of the book in the Daily Mail? May we this year expect to hear on the presidential stump twitter-like references to fat ankles and hairy toes? And may we assume Bill passed math at Yale? Mr. Clinton professes envy at Wilt Chamberlain’s 20,000 conquests and then adds, pointedly, that’s 10 times as many as his, which would put Mr. Clinton’s pre and post marital conquests at 2,000. Is Mrs. Clinton math proficient?

Where are these 2,000 ladies? Are they writing memoirs?

Will U.S. Senator Dick Blumenthal, Connecticut cheerless Puritan and Bill and Hill's Yale playmate, read and comment on the book? Is Governor Dannel Malloy too busy delivering death-blows to Connecticut to entertain a few questions concerning Mr. Clinton’s awesome extra-curricular activities? If the General Assembly should pluck up enough courage to over-ride his vetoes, will The Porcupine, Cromwell-like, descend on the legislature, sword in hand, and tell the baboons – “Gentlemen, go home?”

Poor Connecticut certainly could use a Protectorate – so too the nation.  In the age of victimology, this may be the book that wafts the Clintons back into the White House, a must read.

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